Peace Train

This is a link to a short slide show sent to me from Saleh Ara, a young man who resides in Tehran. It depicts scenes, people, and activities in a place most of us in the west will never really see except as it is portrayed in American media. This little show puts a more human face on people that some of us know absolutely nothing about.

http://www.lucasgray.com/video/peacetrain.html

Ideal images of Tehran? Undoubtedly so. It just seems to me that a balance has to be made between what we imagine the "Evil" empire to look like and what it really looks like. It would be hoped they could do the same, but that isn't our responsibility. I don't believe change takes place while we sit back and wait for someone else to do it.

I can, in the end, control and change only two things in the world and they are the things I think and the things I do. Pretty simple, right?

Saleh Ara was born in Tehran in 1982. He is a university graduate and works as an agronomist. He is an amateur photographer and maintains a photoblog www.8pmdaily.com. He posts at, you guessed it, 8pm daily Tehran time.

My Brother Esau

I have been perplexed for years by the story of Jacob and Esau. It's a story of betrayal, lying and outrright theft. But the liar, thief, betrayer is the chosen one, the father of the tribes.

Consider this for a while. Mom and dad both have their favorites. One, by tradition, will get the blessing and become the patriarch when dad kicks. The other takes advantage of his brother's hunger, deceives his father, runs off, marries his cousins and, eventually, comes to grips with the fact that the desert isn't big enough for him and his brother and he'd better go back and make peace.

"Esau holds a blessing; Brother Esau bears a curse.

I would say that the blame is mine But I suspect it's something worse.

The more my brother looks like me, The less I understand

The silent war that bloodied both our hands.

Sometimes at night, I think I understand." *

Finally, after getting his head together, Jake starts back home. Worried? No doubt. On the way, he wrestles with God. Now, about 30 years ago I knew a fella who wrestled professionally, Chris Multerer and I can honestly say he'd whup the tar out of anyone. The time he wrestled Jesse Ventura in '79 was a real hoot. But I digress...

Anyways, the notion of wrestling with God is where I was going. God clobbered Jake and let him live, dislocated his hip and sent him on his way. Jake hobbles off with his herds in front of him to make peace with his brother, who welcomes him with open arms and a heart of forgiveness. Esau has plenty and is just happy to see his lying, low-down brother.

But who does God pick? Yup, Jake. Why? Because, that's why. Jacob, now Israel, becomes a mighty nation and Esau is left to wander the world forever.

"It's brother to brother and it's man to man

And it's face to face and it's hand to hand...

We shadowdance the silent war within.

The shadowdance, it never ends...

Never ends, never ends.

Shadowboxing the Apocalypse

And wandering the land."*

*Words by John Perry Barlow

Copyright Ice Nine Publishing; used by permission

I Don't know...

For some reason, life is kicking my sorry butt right now. Nothing seems right, the things I live are somehow askew, the everpresent God is, somehow, out in the ether somewhere. Love and joy are, somehow, amiss.

Don't get me wrong. I live for acceptance. I struggle for peace. I pray for forgiveness. But, yet... And, yet...

Why am I out on the streets? Why is a good night's sleep so hard to find? Why does God seem so far away?

I mean, I call him and get no answer. I laugh and tell a joke and say, "That's pretty funny, eh?" ahd get nothing. I cry and get no comfort.

I cry and get no comfort.

Some tell me all kinds of explanations for it. Most have an answer. Everyone says pretty much the same thing...

"God ain't listening, boy. Stop whining and get on with it."

Ok, so I get on with it. Now what?

What I long for...

Photo by Samuel

How many times have you heard someone say

If I had his money I would do things my way

But little they know that it's so hard to find

One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.

Once I was winning in fortune and fame

Everything that I dreamed for to get a start in life's game

Then suddenly it happened I lost every dime

But I'm richer by far with a satisfied mind.

Money can't buy back your youth when you're old

Or a friend when you're lonely or a love that's' grown cold

The wealthiest person is a pauper at times

Compared to a man with a satisfied mind.

When life has ended my time has run out

My friends and my loved ones I'll leave there's no doubt

But one things' for certain when it comes my time

I'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind.

-Red Hayes & Jack Rhodes 1955

We'll marry our fortunes together...

The bright spark that fired so long ago has never really gone out, but have you ever gone down the street and seen yourself with someone else? Someone you least expected? I'm sure a lot of people have.

See, we walk and talk our lives away with so much intensity and intention that we can scarcely remember our own original selves. How can we care for someone else when we don't even understand ourselves?

Sometimes we can re-kindle old fires, sometimes we can't. I guess I wonder how you can tell the difference? Why do some people live their lives with the same person they started with and others, alas, spend their entire life trying to figure who that first person is supposed to be? Why do some people have to wait for the happiness that finally comes late in life?

I envy the lovers, the ones that can make a life together and feel joy with each other even in the direst of situations. I am humbled by their ability to cling to each other when all else is failure. I take refuge in their ability to continue happily. maybe I can do it too?

Relationships are difficult, even under the best of circumstances. We work and toil to make them work but, too often, we screw them up. There's plenty of psycho-talk around to decypher motivations for doing things, but none of it addresses the core dilemmas.

Why aren't we happy? Why does everything seem so desperate sometimes? Why do we walk and feel like, any second, the earth will open up and swallow us?

The new day will bring new insights and new revelation. But, somewhere between now and whenever, the anxiety will creep in again. I pray to God for light to understand, but I still wish it were night. The comfort of darkness is warm and inviting.